The thing about moving around is I have been blessed with so many friends all over the world. I met Alanna while we were in Canada. Sadly, I didn't really get acquainted with Alanna until right before we moved back to the United States. Thank goodness for social media, email, etc. or I would never be able to keep in touch with all these wonderful friends I've made over the years. Alanna is a gem. She has three beautiful little boys and expecting a fourth (hopefully a girl!). Three boys but still finds time for holiday crafts, home renovations, and always looks put together doing it. (She might differ in opinion of course). As a mom of one, I'm always in awe of my mom friends that can balance more than one ... or two. So thankful for her friendship and for sharing her "strategies" on how she does it all.
Please meet my friend Alanna!
When
I first read the question, I have to admit I panicked! ME, BALANCED?? I started digging, I figured I must have some
kind of balance or else we would be in chaos, and we do seem to function OK with
our three boys who are five and under (and another baby on the way)! So, this
month has had me really thinking and analyzing our family dynamics- which has been
a great learning process for me.
Therefore,
I wanted to preface my answer to the question by sharing a few thoughts I have
had along the way. I truly believe that we are always searching for balance- or
at least the right kind of balance, to fit the many different phases that we
move through as parents. I believe that, like most things, it is easier said
than done and it is so important to find what works best for you and your
family. I find that it is too easy in our age of social media to want to simply
adopt all these great ideas and tips that we mothers share. While the ideas and
vast communication available for mothers is wonderful, we can get caught up in
wanting to live that ‘perfect’ life and wanting to take those seemingly ideal
ways to live and apply them directly into our lives, forgetting that what we
need to do is, take those ideas and mold them into what suits our lives and our
specific ways of living. I know this isn’t a big revelation or anything, but
for me, it was something that I hadn’t given much thought to before and
actually applying it has made a difference for me.
So
on with it- how do I balance life with my rambunctious, ever curious, busy
little boys?! Well, I discovered this month just how much of an instrumental
role it plays in my day-to-day sanity and happiness. I’ve never been big on
planning or routines and have always been the worst keeper of any Day-Timer! Therefore, I find I have never been one of
those people who schedules themselves ‘me’ days, ‘date night’s’ nights or
weekend getaways, ect ect. Instead I
balance each day as it comes, I gain balance through doing the ‘little things’ and
that is what works for us right now. The flow of our day largely depends on the
night (did anyone get sleep?!), on our schedule (school, activities, play
dates, ect), and just the overall atmosphere of the household. I have come to
think of it like a dance- if we are all on the same groove and I am in step
with my kids and hubby, that dance is smooth and I feel centered, together and
balanced. I really believe that listening to my kids and understanding what
they need from me for the day is SO important to keeping me in step with
them. If our daily dance is out of sync,
I feel off centered and unbalanced, and then the chance of things going wrong
seems to exponentially increase! And in
total honesty, a lot of our days are out-of-groove… because although it sounds
easy, staying in-step with my boys can be pretty hard some days. So, I find
ways to maintain balance by giving myself tiny breaks, doing something totally
different with the boys, taking up family/friends on their offers of help, relying
on my amazing husband to walk through that door and help me regain the balance,
because he truly is my other half, and a big one- making a big effort to get
more sleep (if possible)! The evening always presents a chance for me to
regroup from the day’s craziness- and I cherish those moments. Whether it is
sitting on the couch and ignoring the mess, or catching up with my husband and
ignoring the other hundred tasks I could be doing- those are the moments I use
to balance myself and the mess and tasks can wait! Before bed I take time to
send out my prayers, my wishes, and my positive thoughts for us and others. It
is my way of beginning to restart the next day and centering my mind by
focusing on what is truly important and what is positive in my life. As for
maintaining balance with my husband… well since we don’t get many moments to
ourselves, (besides the evening when we are both usually weary from the day) it’s
again about the little things (and I can’t leave out the obvious- communication!).
But truly, the random and small gestures that subtly display love and
thoughtfulness are as simple as discovering my favorite chocolate bar in the
fridge, or me randomly giving him a good back rub, or even just sitting with
each other on the couch. People always say it’s the small things that matter,
and through my analysis of our family, I have really seen just how true that
is!
Labels: balance, rockstar mom
